I came home from college for the summer two weeks ago. Now when I look back at these two weeks, I feel that I did or accomplished nothing. I just woke up everyday at 11 or 12, sat down with a novel to read or listened to some music all day. It couldn't have been a worse waste of time, at least in the minds of some of the fiercest maggus of IITK. But you know listening to music isn't that vain an activity as it sounds. Music is the greatest gift that man ever gave to himself. I simply love listening to music. How can anyone possibly do without music? I cannot imagine how the world would be without music. Barely a place worth living in, I suppose. The more music you listen to, the more it grows on you. Until you just can't let go.
By the way, what is music? How is it different from sound? That is a question that you perhaps can't ever answer. You can only fool yourself with some lines of definition that some musician said. But in my opinion, you can't put into words what music is. You can only describe music through music. It is just one of those things that you have to feel when you are alone, like love. Sometimes I can't help feeling that music is similar to love. They are just different in one respect. Love is felt by two hearts at once, while music by one. But they both free your soul. Have you ever experienced something like this: you are listening to one of your favourite songs and you meet a person you dislike. In that moment, isn't it tough to hate him? Have you ever felt the way music touches you in such parts of your heart that few things can reach?
I keep pondering over these thoughts as I sail through the vast oceans of music and melody. It's nice to have a break from the hectic life in my college, and just sit down everyday, and relax. Somehow, separation from a place makes you realize new bonds in your heart to that place. It's like realizing your love for someone only when you are away from them. It's amazing how the mind makes the memory of grass greener, the memory of rain more ecstatic, the memory of sunshine more dazzling, or the memory of a friend warmer. It's beautiful to see that we look at things resting in our memory differently from things in front of us. Our memory accentuates and distorts our remembrance of events and people, especially when we recall things from a relatively distant past. Something similar is happening to me these days. The last semester at IITK seems more rosy and bright now that I'm through with it. It's like I can't believe I had so much of fun in those four months.
Another thing I find weird is that I feel more liberated now than I ever have. That's because I was on quite the opposite end of the rope not more than half a year ago. I guess it is only after I have completed a year at college that I have completely come to terms with this kind of an existence. I've come to terms with what to expect from my life now. When I went to IITK the first time about a year ago, it was completely different. I was too absorbed in an existence where my parents were always there for me. The first three months in college were my toughest in a life of 18 years. But now, I think I'm comfortable with living without my parents, although it's nice to have them around once in a while. I've made some new friends. Some really good friends. Right now I feel like a complete unknown. A person thrown into the vast ocean of life, destined to fight his battles himself. But I guess I am up for the battles. Not in an in-your-face kind of way, but in a I-don't-mind-a-fight-or-two kind of way. And if Bob Dylan had asked me, "How does it feel to be a complete unknown, like a rolling stone?", I would have said, "It feels good".